I am 24 and a virgin, and I am trying to have intercourse for the first time. But I always feel dry even when my partner tries to excite me. When we tried to go further, it became very painful and we had to stop midway. I felt the pain for two days. What could the problem be and what can I do about it?

--Gang

Most women experience discomfort or pain the first time they have sex. The hymen is torn and there may be blood. Also, you may psychologically not be ready yet to have intercourse; if you have doubts and fears, you may not produce enough lubrication. Lack of lubrication can also occur even if you are aroused -- women on birth control pills, for example, often are drier. Another possibility is a vaginal infection, a possibility that warrants a trip to the gynecologist.

If an infection is ruled out and if you really do want to have intercourse, then I suggest the use of a water-based lubricant like K-Y Jelly, Astroglide (I love that name!) or Replens. Use it liberally. You must use a water-based lubricant so as not to interfere with a latex condom -- you are using condoms, aren't you? Unless your partner is a virgin AND neither one of you has had any type of intimate contact with another person (actual penetration is NOT necessary to contract STDs), you must use a condom to prevent transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.

With patience, you will be able to have a full and satisfying sex life. Take it slow, and don't be frustrated.